


You're Amazing

by katychan666



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Based on trailer for 3x14, Light Angst with Fluff, M/M, Protective Alec, Spoilers, Working things out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 02:53:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18086075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: In his desperation to get his magic back, Magnus asks help from the last person he'd ever think of. Desperation makes people do many things. But his magic doesn't come back, he wanderes off completely drained to Alec. Magnus tries to pretend that everything is okay, but Alec knows better...





	You're Amazing

Alec was nervous, he was at wits end. Magnus was being distant all of the sudden and he didn’t know what he had done wrong. Now, the Shadowhunter knew that Magnus had the right to his privacy, of course. Not all secrets needed to be shared in between them, he didn’t want to be smothering Magnus with his attention. He was already there with Magnus with every step of the way, so he thought that Magnus just needed some space and he respected that. By the Angel, he did, but at the same time, he was worried. Whenever Magnus started pulling away, it meant that something was wrong. 

 

Not that it came as a surprise to Alec; he had lost his magic. And Alec, he… still blamed himself. He knew it was only Asmodeus to blame, but still. Alec felt that he could have done more back then when he was too focused on Jace. It was why Alec was always with Magnus now, making sure that he was okay. He promised to Magnus and himself that he’d help his boyfriend with everything and anything. If Magnus needed him, he was always there. But surprisingly, Magnus was taking the loss of his magic a lot better than Alec had expected. Or did he? That was what was bothering Alec… what if Magnus was only pretending? Maybe the realisation didn’t sink in quite yet until now?

 

Alec was nervously pacing around his office as he was waiting for Magnus. The two of them were supposed to go out on a little dinner date. They made plans earlier that day, but now Magnus was late. And not late as in a few minutes, but as in a few hours and Alec was starting to get very worried. Magnus wasn’t picking up his phone or responding to his texts and he was worried sick, walking up and down, biting on his nails. Every now and then a hunter would come up to his office to report in how their mission went. Every time that Magnus didn’t walk through the door, a piece of Alec died and he was just… ugh. He couldn’t concentrate on work as he was checking on his phone again, walking around and was running fingers through his hair. Okay, Magnus was okay. He was probably just held up somewhere… Magnus had his things, maybe he-

 

There was a knock at the door and Alec turned around. Honestly, he expected another Shadowhunter standing there, but his heart leaped up to his throat when he saw his boyfriend stepping inside of the room and Alec’s worries were melted away for the time being and he quickly went over to Magnus. “By the Angel, you’re finally here. You got me worried that something happened,” said Alec softly and then placed a long kiss on top of his boyfriend’s lips, who didn’t kiss him back.. Alec frowned and stepped back, only to catch Magnus as his knees buckled and Alec’s stomach dropped.

 

“Sorry,” said Magnus and let out a nervous laughter.. “I think I had a bit too much to drink,” he said, which was a straight up lie. He hadn’t been drinking. In fact, he had paid Lorenzo Rey of all people a little visit. Now that he was a High Warlock, maybe he could help him. Magnus was desperate to get his magic back.. It took him about a few weeks to even realise just how powerless he felt without his magic. And now with Jonathan on the loose, he couldn’t just do nothing. He was desperate to help his friends, but for that he needed his magic. So he thought that maybe Lorenzo could help him.

 

Magnus heard the rumours, the one of Lorenzo’s true powers. Lorenzo might be an asshole, but there was no denying in that his powers were anything but weak.. In his desperation, Magnus did the last thing he thought he’d ever do; ask  Lorenzo for  _ help.  _ It was funny what desperation made people do, but Magnus was desperate. He couldn’t tell Alexander of his plan, because he knew his boyfriend would call his plan stupid. His plan  _ was _ stupid, Magnus knew that, but what else was there to do?! Alexander had done so much for him during the last few weeks. Alec had already blamed himself enough as it was for what happened, so Magnus didn’t want to burden him any further. 

 

Lorenzo’s help didn’t come free of charge; it cost Magnus a great fortune. But he was ready to pay all the money he wanted just to get back to his usual self. But did Lorenzo manage to help him? No, not really. Lorenzo tried waking up his magic within him, but it didn’t work. Not even Lorenzo was strong enough for that and all that Magnus ended up doing was damage to himself, because he felt awful. He kept slipping in and out of consciousness, he barely made it to the Institute after he regained some of his strength back..

 

“Magnus?” asked Alec, snapping Magnus back  to reality. “Come, you need to sit down. I’ll go get you some water, okay?” asked Alec and Magnus was in no position to talk back, allowing Alexander to take him to the chair and he was panting as he was waiting for that glass of water. Luckily, Alexander was back soon and Magnus smiled. “Here you go.”

 

“Thank you,” whispered Magnus and emptied the glass in a few big gulps. His hands were shaking terribly as he was drinking and he had to place down the glass he had been holding. Even that was too heavy to hold up all of the sudden and he leaned back. Magnus knew that there were risks when he was going to Lorenzo. He didn't know what hurt the most though; lying to Alexander or the fact that his plan didn't work. He felt tears welling in his eyes and he looked away as he didn't want to cry in front of Alec. Alec couldn't know how stupid he was for putting himself in danger like this!

 

“Talk to me,” said Alec when he saw the troubled expression on Magnus’ face. Who was he kidding? Of course Alec noticed the tears in his eyes no matter how hard Magnus was trying to hide it and hold himself back. Maybe he shouldn't have come to the Institute and just head back home. “Magnus, hey,” said Alec and Magnus flinched when he felt a warm hand over his. “Did something happen?” asked Alec and Magnus bit his lower lip to prevent it from trembling.

 

“Not really, it was a pretty boring day,” lied Magnus and Alec frowned. Okay, now Magnus was definitely not telling him something and he was worried sick. But he didn't want to push too much and make Magnus feel pressured and uncomfortable. But, Magnus looked very tired and Alec was just… worried. So worried, always wanting Magnus to be okay. But he  _ wasn't _ okay, he felt lost and unsure. Never felt so useless before and he…

 

“Really?” asked Alec. Before he was able to touch Magnus’ shoulder, Magnus moved and stood up, turning away from Alec. He felt weak on his legs, but managed to stand on his own and was taking in deep breaths, the room already spinning in front of his eyes. What did Lorenzo do to him?! Nothing on purpose, Magnus knew that. Lorenzo was many things, but he wasn't a killer plus he had warned him about of all the possible risks. So, this was only on him, not on anyone else!

 

“Yeah,” said Magnus as stubborn as ever, feeling light headed and could feel chills running down his spine as he struggled to keep himself up on his feet.  _ Whenever things get crazy, don't push me away…  _ was what he said to Alexander and now what was he doing?! The same. 

 

“You sure?” asked Alec, having a bad feeling as tension between them grew.

 

“Yes,” said Magnus.

 

“I just,” said Alec and pressed his lips together. “I feel like you're not telling me something,” said the hunter and Magnus visibly tensed up. Alec's stomach flopped… he shouldn't have said that! He wasn't trying to accuse Magnus of lying, because he knew Magnus was probably doing what he thought was right. Maybe protecting him from something, but it still felt wrong. Alec stepped closer and Magnus was shaking again. He needed to sit down as his body was hot and cold at the same time, legs buckling.

 

“I'm fine,” said Magnus.

 

“No. No you're not, Magnus,” said Alec. “And don't tell me it's the alcohol, you're not drunk,” said the hunter, who could read him like an open book. “You're barely standing up. What the hell happened?”

 

“Nothing!” said Magnus defensively, way too louder than intended and Alec flinched again.  Magnus’ eyes welled up again and he ran fingers through his hair. He hated himself when he got like this; he always ended up driving people away. Yelling at Alexander Was a thing he'd never do and was horrified with himself, barely swallowing back his tears. He was terrible; useless, powerless, yelling at the man he loved,  _ lying  _ to him.

 

“Magnus, I-”

 

“I'm sorry,” said Magnus and finally turned back. Alec's eyes widened when he saw tears rolling down  Magnus’ cheeks as he couldn't hold it back anymore. “I didn't mean to yell,” added the sobbing man and Alec went to him, wrapped his arms around him and held him close. Just in the right time, too, because Magnus’ legs gave up on him and he angrily started wiping his tears away. Alec's heart was breaking… did he push it too much?!

 

“Magnus, it's okay,” said Alec.

 

“No, Alexander, it isn't. Everything is  _ not  _ okay,” said Magnus and looked away, feeling like he was about to burst. He was going to yell again and he didn't want Alec to be the punching bag again. It hurt Magnus when they fought, but… he couldn't stop. Words were coming out before he could hold them back as he was standing on his own again. Alec's eyes were wide, because Magnus  _ exploded.  _ “I don't have my magic, so I'm not okay. I will never be okay. I'm useless, so-”

 

“Don't you dare to say that,” said Alec, cutting him off and his lower lip was trembling as well. When Magnus called himself  _ useless  _ Alec heard his heart breaking and he shook his head. Why couldn't Magnus see how great he was?! Sure, magic was a part of him, but that wasn't why Alec loved Magnus. He loved him because he was sweet, caring, supportive, not because he-

 

“Don't look at me like that,” snapped Magnus and tears were in his eyes again. Burning.

 

“Like what?”

 

“You pity me,” said Magnus and Alec shook his head.

 

“That is not true,” said Alec. “But you are not useless without magic, Magnus. You're amazing-”

 

“I'm worthless,” he said and Alec broke down, because it hurt. Magnus was hurting so much and Alec didn't know. He pretended to be okay and Alec again… “Do you know what I did? I went to Lorenzo, I thought he could help me get my magic back,” said Magnus, Alec's eyes wide again and he narrowed his eyes. Why would…? “I hate feeling like this, Alexander. But it didn't help,” said Magnus. “My magic is gone for good.”

 

Alec was mad. Not with Magnus, but Lorenzo. What did he do?! “What did he do to you?”

 

“Nothing. He warned me there were risks, but I didn't listen,” whispered Magnus. 

 

“Why-”

 

“Because I am desperate. I hate feeling so useless and-”

 

“Now listen to me,” said Alec and Magnus’ eyes were wide when he saw Alexander's tears. “You are  _ not _ useless, Magnus… by the Angel stop saying that,” said Alec and didn't even stop his tears. “You're more than just your magic for the love of God,” he said, his head bowed down. “Please don't do anything like this again I'm begging you. You can barely stand on your own… what if something happened to you? What if you…” said Alec and his voice broke down. “I don't want to lose you,” he said and with that Magnus was crying again.

 

“Alexander-”

 

“I love you so much,” whispered Alec, not being able to calm down. “If you-”

 

“I'm sorry,” whispered Magnus. “I'm sorry, I didn't think-”

 

“No, don't apologise,” said Alec, sniffling. “Just… next time tell me,” said Alec. “I'll help you get your magic back, but we need to do it together.”

 

“Yeah,” said Magnus and swayed on his feet again. Alec caught him again and kissed him desperately, Magnus feeling the wetness of Alec's tears on his cheeks, both panting as they pulled back.

 

“And you better realise how amazing you are with or without magic, Magnus,” said Alec, holding his boyfriend. “I don't… I mean, I know it's hard, but… ugh.”

 

“It's just… hard,” whispered Magnus.

 

“I know. I'm here for you,” said Alec and kissed Magnus again. “I suppose,” said Alec and puffed his cheeks. “It's this pup's duty to show the old man how awesome he is,” said Alec and Magnus looked at him, suddenly snorting and he sighed.

 

“Watch it. Who are you calling old?” challenged Magnus and Alec kissed away the frown that was forming in between Magnus’ eyebrows.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“You better be,” said Magnus and sighed. He felt lighter now that Alexander knew. “Let's go home?”

 

“After Catarina takes a look at you,” said Alec seriously. “I don't trust Lorenzo,” said Alec and with a bit of nagging, Magnus agreed upon those terms. 

 

Catarina gave Magnus a full exam and luckily he was just drained; he'd be soon as good as new with a bit of Alec's help, who took his boyfriend home, cooked him a dinner and then gave him a high dose of cuddles and kisses just as Catarina prescribed. Magnus would quickly recover and after that he and Alec would tackle the mission of getting his magic back!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank u for reading  
> Leave a comment if you liked it ^^


End file.
